The Good Girl and the Scoundrel

I only know what I know, which isn't all that much.

How can I lie there, while he does his business, and think how much I miss you, how much I dearly wish it was your arm around me. It's not fair. It's not fair.

I only know what I know.

I shed a tear in a loving embrace, that was not loving. It was cold, much like his words, much like his intentions. It was no more exciting than cleaning out the oven, and I felt such contempt.

How can I lie there, under the spell of the haunting lilting music, while he does the business, and I am so angry inside, and I wish you were here. I wish you were here. I wish I could remember what love is. I wish I could remember what passion is.

I only know what I know.

I have forgotten what it is like to look at your smiling face, and feel the whole of me smile from the depths of my soul. Your hair was golden, and so was the world. Now the world is golden, but all there is inside is blank pages, one after the other, turning and turning, searching for an illustration, some colour, some meaning.

How can I lie there, listening to him struggle, while I stare into space, knowing what I know, that there will never be another you.

And he wraps his arms around me, and he doesn't know the lines. He speaks in hushed voice and I want to die. I simply want to die, because he doesn't know the lines,
and I know what I know,
that the foolish man survives, while the childish lover cries, and the laughing in your eyes belies the hurt you feel inside, and the knot within unties as the Earth sleeping implies that you might never come to rise to all the challenges you despise, will you ever realise that it's just as loving dies that you'll know what you know and you'll never ever see her face again as it smiles in the morning on the pillow last nights make up still spattered on the egyptian cotton and she looks to you to make it all better and you do because youre you and you love her and she loves you and she knows that everything inside her will feel correct when you wrap your loving arms around her neck and you want to be with her forever and you think you will be with her forever and what of it why not why cant you be together forever is something stopping you i dont think so i know what i know i know i love you i know you love me and hes still there behind me doing his business going at the old ceremony what a fucker i hate him i hate his eyes i hate his noxious grinning why isnt he done yet he can walk himself out the fucker why is he still here i hope he doesnt want me to do anything i know what i know and i know i want the girl i want the girl i felt good with the girl she made me happy maybe i was happy and she made me realise it i made her happy i think i made her happy she never once made me do something i didnt want to she was never cruel i think i still love her and that makes me want to cry.

I said I know what I know. And that isn't very much.